Only a muggle
by WhensunshinewiltsIdanceinrain
Summary: Kelly is a threat. Lord Voldemort is out to kill her, the order is going out of their way to protect her. What's weird with this? Kelly is a muggle. And though everybody's trying to save her, will she end up helping them? No romance, Almost AU,5th year
1. Chapter 1

Edited summary: I don't know, I haven't typed it yet.

Summary: Kelly was an ordinary muggle, but times are dark, with return of Lord Voldemort, and when she and her sister are attacked by death eaters, Kelly kicks their ass, much to the wizarding qworlds shock. She is ent back home, but now no one can protet her from the dark lord. That doesn't mean no one will try.

In the midst of all the hopelessness and tragedy, can this young muggle help all these broken souls find the light of life again?

Slightly AU, set in fifth year, maybe a sequel for 6th and 7th years, which will most likely be a little more AU.

NO BIZARRE SHIPPING!!(meaning no like Kelly/sirius or something)

**Kelly and the Attack**

By Mary

"I totally think you should go out with him Kelly, he's sooooooo hot!!" said a girl in a passively knowing voice in a short pink skirt, a baby T with smiling sun sporting Men in Black shades, with her hair in a preppy high ponytail and a shiny crocodile scale black clutch, not to forget the forest green boots with a flashy point. She strutted down the sidewalks of DC with Kelly, who looked similar to her, just a bit older. Kelly groaned and spoke in an irritated voice.

"Allison _NO._ He dumped Marie heartlessly for Hajin in 6th grade because she, and I quote, 'just aren't developing fast enough for my taste sweetheart, and we're taking it too slow,'. Marie, thankfully, had enough sense to pour all her coke on his head."

Unlike Allison, Kelly was wearing jeans with multiple pockets all over, a small rip or two on the knees and cell phone protruding from the front pocket, what appeared to be the outline of a wallet on one hanging from a large one near her shin. She was wearing a green shirt that said "Protect the Forest" in stenciled letters that looked sponged on in a darker green color. Both girls had almost the same shade of what-people-usauly-called-dirty-blonde-but-isn't wavy brown hair, though Kelly's was hanging in a side part, big brown eyes and strong brows with rounded rectangular glasses. They were quite obviously sisters, but the younger one, Allison, seemed to have taken on one the road of preppy bimbo. Though Kelly would tell you any day that she was so much more, it was all people really saw of her.

"Oh." Allison seemed to have a look of great internal conflict until she shrugged and said. "Shame. He's really hot." Kelly laughed and pointed to a large staircase leading down to the metro.

"Come on, Mum said we have to be home by 3 to make it to the cook out." Allison turned primly on her feet and strutted bubbly down the stairs. Kelly smiled and moved her white pumas as fast they would carry her to reach her sister. When got to the bottom, Kelly was pointing to a make-up stand a little ways down in a more secluded part of the hall that lead to the trains.

"Come on Kelly, please, pleasepleasepleasepleaepleaseplease??" she said, hopping up and down. Kelly raised an eyebrow warily at the abandoned and lonely area of the hall. The girls were raised by street smart parents. Abandoned, dirty, alone;not exactly words that comforted her. But Allison was looking at her with their big brown eyes.

"Alli, Mum would kill us." Kelly finally said simply.

"Oh, like you care, you're always breaking what Mom and Dad say." Allison huffed. Kelly looked smacked in the face.

"Alli, I cross the blooming road when the lights aren't green."

Allison rolled her eyes.

"Big diff. Can we please go? Just for a second, PLEASE?" Kelly groaned.

"2 minutes. We're gonna miss the train if it's longer than that." She said warningly. Allison's eyes lit up and she ran to the stand. Kelly kept close to her and looked around. She had a bad feeling about this...

Allison meanwhile, was running around gleefully all over the stand. When she done dissecting every bit of the front, she moved to the back and she heard Kelly follow her.

_She knows she wants to look around too._ Allison thought smugly. Little did she know that Kelly was fighting not to cringe at all the glitter and gloss. For a moment she forgot her composure of being wary and vigilant of her surroundings just to see how awful it all was. Kelly had never been one for makeup. She had a Strawberry chapstick and a little mascara on if she she wanted to dress up. Maybe a little eyeshadow. And quite frankly, it was all she needed. She picked up a sparkly orange lipstick and nearly burst out laughing. Then she heard a swishing noise. She immediately dropped the bottle and snapped her head up.

The creepy owner of the stand was pointing a stick at them.

Kelly, who had expecting a gun, raised an eyebrow unimpressedly. She looked around though saw to her terror that there was no one around to hear her if she yelled.

"Muffliato." whispered the creepy guy.

_Muffliato?_ Kelly thought. What a nutjob.

A few other guys wearing weird cloaks and robes came out of nowhere in intimidating masks. Kelly, who had pushed weirdness of the situation to the back of her mind, was figuring ways that she could beat these guys up if they tried to hurt her or her sister. She had been taking taekwondo and Hopkido for a few months and was now a yellow belt. She was about going to test for her orange belt in few weeks. She had learned this cool way you could disarm a guy with his gun pointed at you. Maybe the stick wasn't a gun, but she could imagine.

She turned to whisper to Allison but to her shock saw her sister mouthing things at her frantically. There was no sound. Kelly tried to talk to her sister to calm her down, but again, no sound came from her lips, not even the whistle of her breathing.

And no pun intended, but Kelly was speechless.

She didn't try to scream, but she did begin to hyperventilate a bit. And while she did, the strange men moved over to her and Allison. As soon as she noticed this she became angry. She saw the look on the creepy mans face. The others had masks on, but the creepy man had a look of evil mischief. Of pervertedness. Of loathing. And something else. Something deep and terrifying. Murder lust.

* * *

I instinctively did the first thing to come to mind. I placed my hands on the giant cart and pushed it forward into the guys. I grabbed Alli by the hand and made us run. I was running faster because I had longer legs and _I_ wasn't wearing inch high heeled boots. I yelled at her to hurry up but of course, there was no sound. Which was actually kindof a good thing because we made no noise as we ran. But we didn't make it very far before I saw a quick red flash Alli collapsed onto the floor, clutching her sides, her face screwed up in pain. I could hear the creepy guys (I really need to find out what they're called) and looked around for somewhere to hide.

The hall was constructed so that there were many curved columns against the rounded edges of the hall. I pulled Alli behind one of them, but she was fighting me. I wish I could tell her to stop fidgeting so that they might run right past us. Alas.

They caught sight of us immediately so I ran right up to them shoved my knuckles into of their eyes, making them temporarily blind. I then lifted my nee up and plunged it back, straight into the crotch of the guy coming up behind me. I roundhouse kicked one the guys next to me, and with a crack of what i hoped were his ribs, he fell over, then ran back to the guy I had blinded and kneed him in the crotch. There was one other guy who I hadn't touched and he was headed for my sister. He had a stick pointed at her so I did the first thing that came to mind. I ran up behind him and reached over his shoulders, grabbed the stick, and snapped it. He looked enraged and pulled back a hand to punch me. I almost smiled because I knew exactly how to handle it. He swung his hand and I straightened my hands and pushed them against his arm towards the middle of his chest. The I grabbed his wrist and crossed my thumbs over his pressure point. I pressed forward and up and yelled and stomped my foot and I heard a crack. I had broken something. Whew. I was hoping that worked. It's not like I have a line of people willing to have me break their bones so I can practice the move.

Then I stepped back and whammed his elbow into my shoulder.

**Crack.**

That took about three seconds. I gave his nee a hard kick for good measure and ran back to my other people. I saw the guy I kicked in the crotch. He was pulling out a stick. I've put two and two together and I've figured that the sticks aren't good. Don't know how, but right now, all I need to know is that these people are helpless without them and they need breaking. I stomped my foot on the stick and immediately fell down so I could reach him and jammed my elbow to his neck. My Hopkido Grandmaster told me that that would kill someone in an instant if you got the right place. I think I did. I think he's dead. Shit.

Okay. There's four of them. I've killed one, I've handicapped two. There's one left. I looked over to Alli and to my horror saw another guy with a stick pointed at her. She was writhing on the floor. I sat up to go help her but then suddenly felt a giant pain. Pain greater than I had ever felt before. I fell down and tried to scream, but couldn't. Vaguely I realized this is what they were doing to Alli.

Oh god this hurts.

Oh dear god I'm a friggin atheist but help me.

Please, please help me.

This reminded me of joke.

I know right? I'm in intense pain and my sister is being tortured and all I can think of is a joke.

Whatever. Now I can't get it out of my head and it's distracting the pain a bit.

It goes like this.

There's man with no faith being chased by a bear. He knows he can't out run it and for the first time calls on god.

"PLEASE GOD HELP ME!"

SO then god comes down and he's like

"All this time you haven't believed in me, but I have watched over you. I will help you. What do you want?"

So the guys like

"PLEASE GOD MAKE THIS BEAR A CHRISTIAN!"

And the bear catches up to the man and sits down on his knees, putting his hands together in prayer.

"Dear god thank you for this bountiful meal..."

Through my silent screams I almost let out an invisible laugh.

Damn this hurts!!

There are no words for this. It's terrible.

My grandfather told us that joke when we visited them for christmas.

He's actually my step grandfather, but whatever.

MMMPH!! THIS HURTS!! I think I'm crying, bu I can't tell.

GOD MAKE IT STOP!!

This is terrible, but everytime I'm calling out to god I think of that joke.

mmph. mmmph...

Yeah.. I'm.. crying.

UNGH!

...

I can't faint.

..

not now..

ali

**Whew. This is my second fic and I think I like it better. Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up in a few minutes.**

**I REALLY need to know if you think this is okay or a piece of crap. I'm self BETA-ing but if you want to beta this that would be great. Pm me if you're interested. PLEASE REVIEW!! KAY?**

**Thank you all a million and 2. There won't be any Sirius until maybe the third or so chapter? **

**XOXO, MARY**


	2. Jirly and Master Draco

Jirly and Master Draco

By Mary

I groaned and opened my eyes slowly.

Ugh. Stupid Light, it's so bright.

I closed my eyes quickly and groaned.

Now, some things dawn on you very, very gradually. Some don't.

For example, the realization that I was hanging by my wrists came very quickly. Or rather, with the force and a launching rocket fueled on crack.

My eyes snapped open and I looked up to see.. darkness.

A slow realization dawned on me that the rather bright light _aimed directly at my eyes _had escaped my notice.

"Ah, I see our... guest has finally decided to join us." A creepy voice sounded a few feet away, greeted with cruel chuckles. Frightened, I looked up with wide eyes towards the light.

Shit, this isn't my favorite way to spend a day.

"Who are you?" I asked as calmly as I could. It sounded as though I was at a friggin tea party.

"I am the Dark Lord." the voice replied with a slightly intimidating edge to it. Or at least, it sounded as though I should be intimidated.

"Uh, cool. I'm Kelly." I replied. Then something hit me fast and hard. "WHERE'S MY SISTER!" I screamed. Mister "Dark Lord" laughed coldly.

"Your sister is of no interest to us." he said dismissively.

I stared at him, suddenly livid.

"What have you done with her?!" I cried venomously. Again, the cold laughing filled the room, mixed with a circle of mirthful giggles. My mind was reeling at the possibilities of what they could be doing to her. I began to writhe in my bonds that I could not see, swinging and kicking wildly, and smiled in satisfaction when my foot collided with something harshly. I heard a loud smack from the impact and a scream.

"That was my fuckin JAW!" I heard a man yell, though it was distorted, as if his mouth was full of liquid. The sounds that followed I pieced to together was probably the man lunging for me and his neighbors stopping him. But why would they be? Wouldn't they be pissed that I kicked him? "LET... ME... AT... IT..." I raised my eyebrows.

"I beg your pardon, _it_?" I asked. It was now that Dark Lord (Dark Lord? _Dark Lord?!_ He couldn't think of anything better than "Dark Lord"? How about The Duke of Doom? Or the King of Catastrophe? or even The Lawyer of Fear! All just as scary. I've got to make fun of him for that sometime before I leave) decided to regain control of this.. what was this anyway? A secret meeting?A striper's club? A bar? These people certainly seemed drunk.

"CRABBE! CONTROL YOURSELF!" he screamed, making the room go silent. I think it's appropriate to mention that I still can't see an effing thing. "So," the Dark Lord said calmly. "Kelly yes?" he seemed to be breathing/hissing instead of actually speaking. Not that he had to speak, the room was dead silent.

"Last I checked." I spat at him.

"You are probably wondering why you're here." I raised my eyebrows.

"Point to Captain Obvious." I said sardonically.

"It would be in your best interest if you don't disrespect the Dark Lord." said a crazed female voice. I could totally imagine her raise her arms up in the air with her wrists pointed downwards, looking down on me as if the Dark Lord was some sort of Count Dracula/ Frankentien/ Collection Agency Phone Caller and she was trying to freak the piss out me like older kids try to do to younger ones at camp fires. Ha.

I blew a raspberry in her general direction.

"_AND_ I have the very simple answer for you." Dark Lord interjected. "You Kelly, are here to die." he finished with a simple yet dramatic and cocky air. Once again, his minions laughed. He obviously was waiting for me to explode into tears.

"Uh huh." I said. "Fascinating. Any particular reason why?" This was not the reaction they had hoped for, but I give them points for a speedy recovery.

"Because, you have killed one of my Death Eaters. You have gravely injured 2 or 3 others. And for this, you must suffer." I saw a faint outline of a person get up onto the table and walk towards me. But I still couldn't see him because of the bloody light in my face.

I felt a small, wooden point against my throat. The light was brighter than ever. Was it coming from the wooden point?

Shit. It was a stick. He has a stick.

"To simply kill you would be too merciful-"

"Yeah." I said sarcastiacally. "That's you. Mr. Mercy."

"The Crucio will fit you just fine, I think." he said angrily.

"_Cr-_"

"Oh dude, please, before I meet my untimely end, would it kill you to go get a breath mint or something?" I wheezed.

In the split second of silent shock the room created I maneuvered my head so that I could bite the stick. I jerked my head back and the stick fell out of Dark Lord's fragile grip. The stick flipped out of my mouth into the darkness. I jammed up my knees, which, as Dark Lord had lunged forward pointlessly to grab his stick, conveniently hit his stomach. For some reason I felt the bonds on my wrist (and the light) disappear, and I dropped to the table.

Without the light, it was pitch black, and in the confused rustle of noise and people I figured this was my best chance to escape. I rolled off the table discretely and my feet touched the ground noiselessly. I bolted to the thin crack of light I correctly assumed to be from a set of double doors and right as I turned the door knob someone made another blinding light, presumably from their stick. Thankfully, it was aimed at a pissed Dark Lord and not me. I froze and sat down. Right behind me was a chair, because the room was complete with a long table and chairs and that was pretty much it. If the person in the chair didn't look behind them, none of them could see me. The room was filling up with sticks producing light, and I quickly hopped up and slid through the door, hoping that the jet of light from the door would mesh with the sudden lights everybody else was making, closing it quietly behind me.

I can't believe no one saw me.

Oh shit.

I have no idea where I am, nor where I can find Alli. Oh no. Alli.

_Squeaksqueaksqueak._

Shit what was that?!

From the doors, there was a straight hallway that lead into a main hall. I maneuvered to in between the door-frame and the turn of the wall so if anyone opened doors they wouldn't see me, but that wouldn't stop the pitiful little creature at the end of the hall from spotting me.

_Squeaksqueaksqueak._

The creature was holding a rag and had been washing the floor. I realized she was probably like a maid. Maids know everything. She looked relatively harmless.

"Excuse me." I hissed frantically. The creature looked up, shocked. "Um, hi, I'm Kelly. Um, do you know how- never mind. Um.. do you know where we are?" I breathed quietly. "Oh, sorry, what's your name?" I asked, realizing I had no idea what to call her. Well, it looked like a her. She looked sad. "A-are you okay?" I added, momentarily forgetting my own issues.

She looked up at me with big, teary, brown eyes.

"Miss Kelly is asking Jirly how she feels? Is asking her name?" She looked ready to faint.

"Jirly, is that your name?" I whispered.

"Yes! Yes!" Jirly breathed, elated. "And Jirly was sad. Jirly was missing her friend Dobby." I swallowed a lump in my throat, imagining the cause of her missing Dobby. Were they doing the same to Alli?

"What happened to Dobby?" I murmured.

"Oh, Dobby was freed! Dobby befriended the valiant Harry Potter and he tricked Master Lucius into freeing him!"

"Dobby was freed from what, Jirly?"

"From slavery!" she gasped. "Jirly does not enjoy it so much, but Dobby was _vehement_-!" Jirly looked proud at her using a big word. " to be free." she lowered her voice. "Dobby wanted to be _paid._"

"You're slave?!" I gasped. Jirly nodded. "Jirly serves the Malfoys, along with all the other house elves." I suddenly remembered why I was here.

"Jirly," I said seriously. "I need to trust you on something." Jirly leaned in eagerly. "First of all, what do the Malfoys think of the Dark Lord?"

Jirly frowned. "The Malfoys love the Dark Lord." she said simply. "Master Lucius is in there right now, with him. This mansion Master Lucius has volunteered for their new he-" Jirly quit speaking, she could not finish those words.

"Their new what, Jirly?" I asked, frightened for my new friend. Jirly looked sad. "Jirly cannot say, she supposes it is information under a secret keeper."

"What do you mean you cannot say, Jirly? Is-" a new theory popped into my head. It was ridiculous, but it explained everything. "Are you all... magic?" I asked. Jirly nodded.

"Of course, Jirly assumes Miss Kelly is a witch yes?" I shook my head. Jirly's eyes widened. "You are muggle, Miss Kelly?"

"Assuming a muggle is someone who doesn't do magic, then yeah." Jirly screwed up her face concernedly.

"B-but Master Lucius and Mistress Narcissa told Jirly that Muggles were ugly and stupid. Muggles are a waste of space in the world, they serve no purpose and make all of us go into hiding because they try to hurt us. You are very pretty Miss Kelly. You are kind enough to ask for Jirly's name and how she is feeling."

"Thank you." I blushed. " We, uh, muggles. I don't think we would hurt you. I mean, in the time of the salem witch trails?Sure, but those were years ago. I swear, if anybody tries to hurt you Jirly I will violently murde- I mean, I wil- I will, uh, hurt them.. back. I'll protect you." I finished surely. Jirly looked confused.

"A muggle is willing to protect Jirly?" she asked wide-eyed.

"Of course Jirly, you're my friend." I said kindly. I smiled and gathered her into my arms for a bear hug. Jirly obviously wasn't used to affection of any type. Then I turned back to her, serious.

"Jirly, I think the Malfoys and their friends have my sister somewhere. They've hurt her. I think they're going to try and k-kill her." My voice got quieter. "Maybe they already have. Do you have any idea where she might be?" Jirly looked excited, but before she could speak, someone flew out the closed doors I had almost forgotten about, containing the people who were trying to murder me.

"FIND HER! " cried a voice I recognized as the Dark Lord's.

"REMEMBER THE PLAN!" yelled a feminine one.

I realized that they must have been creating a plan all this time. Well, I was too. And I had Jirly on my side. Speaking of whom, she looked terrified.

"That was Mistress Narcissa." she breathed, looking up at me. Her voice was barely existent, just a little wind that skimmed my ears before fading into nothing. I still had her in my arms, so I hugged her close.

"Shhhh. We'll talk later." I blew back. Meanwhile a bunch of other minions bolted out the doors. I assumed a few of them were still in the room though, and I was proved right as a quiet murmur reached my ears and the doors were pulled shut.

"Jirly is there anywhere you can take me we won't be seen?" I breathed.

She nodded and got out of my lap, hanging onto my hand. She snapped her fingers and we appeared in a messy bedroom. I decided it probably belonged to someone about my age. I looked around curiously, clutching Jirly's hand and taking in the scene.

There were posters of bands and people, but they were moving. The room was decorated a bit with green and silver; on the bedspread, what little of the walls were visible. I smiled when I noticed a broomstick in the corner. Very witchy. There was a big, flashy cauldron next to a cabinet showing strange ingredients visible through the open doors. Clothes were tossed all over the floor, and there were two doors. One of them had steam clouding out from under it. Wait a second. That was wrong.

"Master Draco?" called Jirly quietly. My blood froze.

"Jirly." I said fearfully. There was a series of rustling and a jet of running water was turned off.

"Who's Master Draco?"

**Hello you awesome people!! I wasn't actually planning that, believe it or not. What do you guys think of Jirly? I haven't had one review yet, or even a measly PM :(. I'll keep on writing anyways, don't you worry!! Oh, you don't want me to keep writing? If you reviewed, I would've known that. to bad you didn't. Now my stories will haunt the growing list forever! **

**Any ways... I'm all hyped up and have a lot of time to write now that summer vacation has started!! WHOOP! I know it hasn't exactly been a couple of minutes, but I started getting distracted by a bunch of friggin awesome Remus Tonks stories. Faint Heart Never Won Fair Lady(by The Green Lady)? Loved it. It's in my favorites I believe. Another good one, The Werewolf Who stole Christmas, by Lady Bracknell, it's hilarious! Snarky Remus. I don't actualy know what that means exactly, but that's what the reviwers(she's actualy got some. Over 1000 in fact) keep on saying.**

**I've run out of "My readers aren't reviewing" heat to lay on you guys, and I've run out good stories to recommend. I guess that means I'll quiet typing. Okay. Here goes. Any day now... **

**BTW, I know some of my attempts at humor fall flat. Just ignore them if they get to you.**

**Mary**


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